I have the desire to better myself in the ways I know I need to, namely:
3. Reading Scripture
5. Building a support structure/community
6. Read and/or write anything constructive
7. Make an appointment with a psychiatrist
But instead I:
1. Lay around in bed
2. Bake and eat cake
3. Watch TV online
4. Don't answer my phone
I don't want to do anything that takes work, I guess. I am lethargic and apathetic. I don't even want to chat with people online any more. I don't want to update my blog. I know that something is wrong because I typically always answer my phone, always answer texts and prefer to leave my home to do work or talk to people. I usually like to get things done. But right now, I want to lay around, and it's making me sink further into this.
I know that I can get better. I know that God loves me. I know that depression is real, and does not mean I am worth less than another person. I know that I can have victory. But I just want to lay in bed.